Trusting ___

[Not necessarily finished, just a rant]

I'm sick and tired of pretending my life is ok.
I'm sick and tired of defending my actions to myself.
I'm sick and tired of my own fake smiles and laughs.

People ask me "how's it going?"
As if they want to know...
Who really wants to hear me say,
I'm failing, and losing and crying?

When your dreams are put on hold,
your life is falling apart,
you're supposed to trust God.
I wish I did.

I hear a tune rush through my head,
its words comfort till they say
"I am happy, all the day"

Cause you see, at the cross
where my savior died,
my sins were washed away.
And yet, in grace, I still see death
I can not seem to be happy
in any way.

But day will dawn, hope is found
If not in the likely place
for friends will stand,
and help me up
by God's grace,
they'll see me through.

Water Flows

Sounds of rushing,
drops are falling,
running on my skin.
Standing, thinking
wondering.
Who is she?
Do I know her?
Could it be _____?

Streams collecting free
Running off the edge
Heavy drops freed
What if?
Could this be?
Does she feel?
Dare I?

Rushing sound in ears
Flowing o'r my skin
Water soothing
as I question who,
and where, and when

Are You Listening?

This is the sound of the underground...

I’m sick of the hypocrisy in the church today.
All the Christians who sit back and talk
Why to do they let the problems go?
Just sit back, relax and enjoy the show

In a world where AIDS and poverty thrive
Can the gospel truly survive?

If we are the future as many will claim
Why is it our parents who get all the blame?
All I’m saying is its time for a change
We have to get into action and stop playing this game

People don’t get it when you try to reform
All people see is a youthful drive
The people think they know whats going on inside

This isn’t a plea for emotion or rage
This is a statement of mission for life

And this is the sound of the underground
The whisper of history shaping
Foundations shaking
Revolutionaries dreaming once again
Mystery is screaming in whispers
Conspiracy is breathing...

This is the sound of the underground.

I'm free...

(A poem from long ago...)

My heart is breaking, my arms are heavy.
I’m carrying the weight of a thousand feelings.
I see you in the hallway, my heart stops beating.
I hear your voice behind me and I want to turn my head…

Why is it so hard to just be your friend?
Why do I feel sick, every time you walk away?
How can I love you and not ever tell you…
What kind of friend am I?

I’m letting go. Its falling free.
No more burden, my heart’s liberty
I have my freedom, my love is my own.
This is the start of a Beautiful Friendship.

By letting go of my heart’s strong feelings
I’m hoping to love you as a sister, my friend.
I’d rather lose you as a lover,
To gain you as a friend.

I’m letting go. Its falling free.
No more burden, my heart’s liberty
I have my freedom, my love is my own.
This is the start of a Beautiful Friendship.

A single candle burning at midnight (John 8:12)

We are a city on a hill.
Resting on a rock, while the world passes us by and sinks beneath the sand.
Intrigued, drawn in, by sinful pleasures and worldly lusts.
Its sad but true.
These people live in their tiny little bubbles, boasting of their riches and their power.
How can you boast in whats not yours?
Walking in darkness, opposing the light.
One day, it will all sink beneath the sand while you curse and burn in your eternal home.
I pray for you, hoping one day you will see the light of salvation.
If only your lies hadn’t entangled you so strongly,
you might have been saved.
But sin is in the heart of every man woman and child.
Its those that choose to follow the Light,
hating the darkness,
that will receive the light of life.

John 8:12
"I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life."

Meeting Jesus

Dying, breaking, Crying, shaking
The world is looking down on me
My time is running short
Why am I so scared of light?

Where are the heroes?
Where is my savior?
What am I going to do?

Where were the winners,
The rockstars, the singers?
Where were they last night?

Where were the preachers,
the teachers, the healers?
Where were they last night?

My Jesus came for the weak and the hurting
He offers salvation to the lost and the broken
My Jesus came for the jocks and junkies.
He offers redemption to the ruined and fallen

Why are the weak always losing ground?
Why do the winners have it all down?
Where are the Christians when I fall down?

Where are the heroes?
Where is my savior?
What am I going to do?

My Jesus came for the weak and the hurting
He offers salvation to the lost and the broken
My Jesus came for the jocks and junkies.
He offers redemption to the ruined and fallen

My Jesus is waiting, he’s watching you now,
What are you going to do?

Drowning (Psalm 69)

The waters are up to my neck, I’m beginning to lose consciousness.
I stepped too far and lost my foothold, sinking into the abyss of sea.
My throat is parched screaming, my eyes fail to see.

Save me! Save me! I’m drowning, Save me! Save! Me! Cause I can’t breathe.

You see right through me, you know me well.
I will fight for you, for your name. I would swim endless seas for you.
Alone, for I am a stranger in my own land.

Save me! Save me! I’m drowning (alone). Save me! (alone) Save! Me! Cause I can’t breathe.

Hypothermia sets in, this deathly feeling begins.
Life slips through my fingers, falls away from my grasp.
Reality becomes so true, this breath could be my last.

Answer me with your sure salvation.
Answer me with your sure salvation.
Answer me.