Trusting ___

[Not necessarily finished, just a rant]

I'm sick and tired of pretending my life is ok.
I'm sick and tired of defending my actions to myself.
I'm sick and tired of my own fake smiles and laughs.

People ask me "how's it going?"
As if they want to know...
Who really wants to hear me say,
I'm failing, and losing and crying?

When your dreams are put on hold,
your life is falling apart,
you're supposed to trust God.
I wish I did.

I hear a tune rush through my head,
its words comfort till they say
"I am happy, all the day"

Cause you see, at the cross
where my savior died,
my sins were washed away.
And yet, in grace, I still see death
I can not seem to be happy
in any way.

But day will dawn, hope is found
If not in the likely place
for friends will stand,
and help me up
by God's grace,
they'll see me through.